Why “Growing Out of Games” is a Foreign Concept to Me

I hear this a lot, both on the internet and elsewhere. People who say that they can no longer enjoy games and rationalize it as “getting too old” or “growing up”. Note that I’m not talking about a lack of time here– I fully understand that games are time consuming and that, the older we get, the less time we tend to have.

But there seems to be this sort of prevailing idea that games are a toy or mere plaything more than a valid entertainment form.

You don’t grow out of books.

You don’t grow out of movies.

You don’t grow out of watching TV.

You don’t grow out of listening to music.

So why would you grow out of video games? The thought baffles me.

Playtime is for everyone. Even ponies.

Games suck me in just as much these days as they did when I was younger. SMAC, EU3, and Civ IV are a very small sample of games that have all pulled me in and enthralled me just in the last few years alone. And it’s not just “older” games that are doing it– recently, Skyrim has really made me feel like I did back when I was exploring the worlds of, say, Ocarina of Time or early World of Warcraft. The excitement of the games I play lingers well after I turn it off, too, which why this blog exists. I want to talk about games and share my experiences with them. I always have, and even nearing thirty years old now I still do.

Or maybe I’m just unusual. Maybe it is possible to “grow out” of games. Maybe the really interactive nature of games equates them more to something like dance or sports or competitive chess– because you do have to put some amount of work and effort into it, it becomes more relaxing to just not bother. So people for whom it isn’t a priority fade away.

I hope not, though. I don’t ever want to lose what I have with games.

What do you guys think?

14 thoughts on “Why “Growing Out of Games” is a Foreign Concept to Me”

  1. It may be slightly crass to comment so positively on a blog I share with you, but this is an excellent blog post and I agree wholeheartedly with all of it.

  2. Agreed.
    I still play games as much as time allows.
    For me ‘growing out of’ was never an option.
    What an alien concept.
    Like growing out of having to eat or breath.

    Maybe the type of game I like to play has changed a little,
    but some games were that good
    (I’m looking at you Baldur’s Gate!)
    that I’ve started playing them again, even though hey are a good decade dated.

    I guess its all part of the ‘growing up’ issue that the gaming industry has. Movies, Books, Theatre, Cinema, Music – They are all adult activities and are treated as such.
    How long has it taken for the gaming industry to become the same?
    PooBaa

  3. I am over 40 and I still play video games. I can not see that I will ever stop playing video game. I have been playing a lot of older games and I still Play WoW.

  4. > You don’t grow out of books.
    Disputable. Too many books to read that have already been written sometime ago. Books don’t ‘progress’.

    > You don’t grow out of movies.
    I disagree.

    > You don’t grow out of watching TV.
    I strongly disagree.

    > You don’t grow out of listening to music.
    Dunno.

    > So why would you grow out of video games?
    It all depends on how you describe ‘growing out of’.

    If one likes watching movies, listening to music, reading books, playing games, he’ll like it all the time. It’s only that the different medias/activities’ offer becomes different as time goes on.

    Books not so much – you have new authors, but there are countless books that have already been written, so that you almost always have something to read that you like.

    Movies – there is a definite number of them, there are some classics, and there are the new ones. While there are some good new movies, thanks to Hollywood we see more and more CGI-ed blockbusters, while the number of quality movies dwindle. I personally once liked going to the cinema monthly or more often. Now I don’t go to the cinema at all and watch maybe 4-5 movies a month on the tv, simply because there is nothing interesting to watch.

    Watching TV – same as above. Also the form of TV altogether has changed. Best example is the MTV.

    Music – there is always something going on. Also, music you can listen over, and over, and over again, without it becoming too much of a bore (in my opinion… of course one should restraint from putting a song on loop for a whole day).

    Games – well, you have certain games you go back to, you have fond memories of some, but the gaming industry serves us gamers more and more of the watered down experience, instead of the rich game-play of the older titles. Sadly you almost never get that good old rich flavor in the new shiny package, so the new games don’t offer less and less to someone who has been playing for quite some time.

    All in all – it depends on what you like to do and finding something that corresponds to it. You like romance novels? Jazz? Comedy? Strategy? If there are none being made right now that are to your liking, then:
    1) look up some older ones
    2) look harder
    3) lower your expectations.

    Cheers!

  5. Here’s a story for you:

    My father was a computer hobbyist, back in the day – say, 1980’s. The first computer I remember in the house was an Apple II, and we had multiple binders full of 5 1/4″ floppies with different games on them. Loderunner, Adventure, Sneakers, you name it, we had it. I grew up playing those games and learning to code in Basic.

    I have fond memories of sitting in the floor of his office, watching him play Wolfenstein 3D on his laptop all night.

    Then, at one point, he quit.

    My brother and I went on to become gamers, but I found out a few years ago that dad quit gaming shortly after he went into business for himself. It turned out that instead of doing work, or finding new business for his company, he was spending all day playing computer games. It got so bad that the only way he could manage was to quit gaming cold-turkey. I found this out after he expressed concern that my brother and I would fall prey to the same addiction he had battled.

    I told him that I would never ‘grow out’ of games, just like he hadn’t, not really. What I promised him, however, was that I’d never let games take priority over the things that were really important (work, food, family).

    I don’t think anyone ‘grows out’ of gaming, their priorities just shift. The key is whether or not they’re willing to admit that. :)

  6. I find that not only do I have less time overall, but even when I do have a good chunk of free time, playing a video game is often not high on my priority list. When I was younger, I’d make free time to play games and games would be the first thing I’d go do. And when I do feel like sitting down to play, it’s often only for 2-3 hours, maybe 4 if I’m really into it, before I’m done. Rather than the 6-8 hour long weekends and evening play sessions I’d get into 5-6 years ago.

    That’s how I’d describe growing out of it. I also no longer sit down and read cult fantasy books in 2 days. Just various stuff I’ve grown out of.

  7. “Critics who treat ‘adult’ as a term of approval, instead of as a merely descriptive term, cannot be adult themselves. To be concerned about being grown up, to admire the grown up because it is grown up, to blush at the suspicion of being childish; these things are the marks of childhood and adolescence. And in childhood and adolescence they are, in moderation, healthy symptoms. Young things ought to want to grow. But to carry on into middle life or even into early manhood this concern about being adult is a mark of really arrested development. When I was ten, I read fairy tales in secret and would have been ashamed if I had been found doing so. Now that I am fifty I read them openly. When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up.” -C. S. Lewis

    I just thought this quote was relevant to the topic at hand. There’s no such thing as being too old for video games, except inside of one’s mind. Many popular hobbies and past times people enjoy today usually stem from something they enjoyed as a child.

    P.S. Am I the only one who thinks that Fluttershy would have the best poker face (p-p-p-poker face) out of the Mane Six?

  8. I don’t think it’s necessarily a “growing out of games” as much as “finding other things to do” among other reasons, some of which have already been said here. Other interests do arise after all, and thus something gets dropped for another thing, particularly if you have time for something else. Although I’ve also heard that some people with little time manage to find time to play games.

    Age has nothing to do with it. I play an MMO called Glitch at the moment, and I’ve seen the age range from grandparents to teenagers in this cutesy MMO. Some are mothers with small children too, so time isn’t an issue.

    Perhaps another thing about games is that some people might just get bored with them altogether. This is an interesting topic and I’d love to see what others think as well.

  9. I’m in the over 40 category, myself. I’m up and down. I’ll go through a 3 month period playing games every evening, but then go another 3 without playing any. It depends on what’s going on or what I’m responsible for at the time. It also depends on what other activities are available, too.

  10. I don’t know so much about growing out of games in general, but tastes change. I’m over 40 now but in my youth played High School Football, and spent way too much time obsessing over the pros. Stats, schedule, playoff standings, etc. But as other things came along, family etc. I stopped paying as much attention and now haven’t watched a full game in years. Now I obsess about haste rating, mastery, Intellect and boss kills. Still games, just different ones.

  11. Great topic!

    I don’t think you grow out of the activity of gaming but I think it might be possible to grow beyond certain games. Like there was this math game we used to play at school and now I would find it simplistic and boring even though I loved it back then. I don’t think it’s the age of the game though – I mean I would still play Bastow Manor again!

    It’s the same with books, there are books I loved as a teenager which I wouldn’t be interested in reading now but I still love the activity of reading!

    I agree with other comments that also as you get older your priorities change and perhaps as a result the energy you have left over for gaming… I know that I can’t pull the all night gaming sessions now that I would a few years ago without even thinking about it. I wistfully wish I could though!

  12. Hmmm, great post!

    When reading Lukasz’s comment, I was reminded of something a friend said to me about when people complained that a webcomic wasn’t ‘as good as it was’. His theory was that sometimes people are actually comparing the current state to an idealised “best of” in their memories, to which nothing can compare. As you go on, the combined awesomeness of the past is always going to eclipse the present.

    I guess I’m often a little skeptical of people saying that things aren’t as good as they were. I think it’s probably mostly a matter of time and engagement, and maybe a dose of childish (? or not!) open-mindedness. Sure, the music, kids TV shows or games might not be ‘what they were’, but maybe it’s partly the amount of time you spend with them? Or maybe it’s more likely that the people have changed, themselves? In which case, I don’t think they should blame the medium!

  13. Sometimes this age stuff can force people out of gaming altogether. It really depends on what people want from their games, and can they accept changing their goals? I used to be able to embarrass Quake clanners in my young 20’s with only a keyboard and no mouse. It was like literally playing with one hand tied behind your back, and I would still win most of the time. I used to be very proud of winning LAN tournaments that way.

    Today, I’m 37 and just an average gamer, at best. I couldn’t play competitively if my life depended on it. My reflexes are shot, I have type 2 diabetes, and I yell at kids to get off my lawn. But I still play plenty of games. My goals are just different. I play more to challenge myself than to compete these days. Instead of 200+ hours played, I top out at about 80 max, then move on to another game. Gaming is what I do. But I couldn’t just ‘walk away’ because it was ‘for kids’. It is timeless. You just change how you do it, and your goals for playing. But you still play.

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