When Too Much is Too Much

The other day I was having a discussion with someone on a forum about video game addiction and how one might be able to discern the difference between being “addicted” and merely playing a lot. This is the way I put it:

I’m pretty sure there was a period in my life where I could have called myself legitimately addicted to WoW. The reason I feel that I was addicted was that a.) I seriously was not ever thinking about anything else, and b.) if I didn’t play WoW for at least a few hours a day I would go to bed feeling distressed and unfulfilled.

I feel that this was different from your typical, average “I want to play a lot of videogames” mentality that I’ve always possessed. Sure, I’ve been madly in love with games before– I still get that way– and “ONE MORE TURN” syndrome is certainly not something I am unfamiliar with. :P But if it skews your worldview to the point that it occupies every waking thought for months on end and you plan your entire life around it and you play even if you don’t feel like it because it drives you to fits if you don’t, then you might have an issue.

It was weird to look back on that period of my life and admit to myself that I probably could have fallen under the category of being addicted to a game. Fortunately, however, I didn’t have it nearly as bad as some other people do, and I was able to move on from it.

This is a bit of a tricky subject to talk about, though, whichever way you slice it. Certainly not all MMO players are addicted, and even among those who could probably be classed as such, not all are having their life seriously impaired by it. Without really starting to dig into a very deep subject, I feel that “healthy addiction” isn’t entirely impossible here.

I also think that, as avid game players, we frequently have a knee-jerk “BUT I’M NOT LIKE THAT” response when this sort of thing is brought up, lest our hobby be looked down upon more than it already frequently is.

…but on the other hand, it’s probably something to keep in the back of your mind as a valid phenomena and one that you or someone you know might be familiar with. One can become addicted to anything, and games are not an exception.

The funny thing is that, for me anyway, I don’t look back at my WoW-playing-time as something that took time away from the rest of my “life”. Rather, it was something that took time away from dozens of other games that I could have been playing. Variety is, as they say, the spice of life.

And so I turn the floor over to you, readers! Ever been where I’ve been?

12 thoughts on “When Too Much is Too Much”

  1. You nailed it with that last paragraph, I think. :) I’m at a point now where I have all these other games to occupy my time (although my time is more than occupied with other things as it is!), and the thought of picking up an MMO, WoW or not, is just too daunting to contemplate. But I certainly don’t view those five years of my life as having been wasted! I had fun playing a game I enjoyed, with people I’m very happy to have had the chance to meet. <3

  2. Yeah, it’s a tricky thing to talk about. The topic never fails to get my hackles up, particularly when people hear someone complain that “so and so doesn’t hang out with me enough because they’re always playing WoW,” and then everyone else chimes in with stories about all these horrible people who ruined marriages, relationships, etc by playing that stupid game.

    My problem is that people immediately blame WoW (or whichever video game), when I think the cause is actually something else. The video game playing is a symptom. That’s certainly what happened with me. I was suffering from depression that probably should have been treated and at a real low point in my life. I played for two reasons, 1) a sense of achievement that I wasn’t getting in real life, and 2) for a group of friends that were absolutely instrumental in helping me get past that period.

    It seems counter-intuitive, but I needed those friends and that game every bit as much as the friend that invited me to her knitting group (which was the hobby that replaced WoW in my life). I know that everyone is different and that some people really may be addicted to the game, but it angers me when those snap judgments are made and no one questions the root cause like depression.

    It’s also true in my case that today, no one questions my knitting hobby despite the fact that it takes up just as much time as my WoW hobby used to. Well, my WoW friends question it but they’ll just have to deal. ;)

  3. I used to be constantly shirking other things in favor of WoW. Not always real life things, but definitely other games. I either wouldn’t play them, or rush through them quick as possible. After taking a step back I looked at the entire situation and asked if I was addicted to WoW. The conclusion I reached was no, the problem for me was monetary. I felt an obligation to get “my money’s worth” from WoW, and thus slated it at a higher priority than other activities.

    I then did some number crunching, and figured that if I pay $15 a month for WoW and play it at least 15 hours a month (half hour a day), I was paying $1 an hour or less for a very entertaining game. After realizing that a half an hour a day is all that it took to get what was in my opinion, a very good return of entertainment for my money, I stopped worrying about it so much. I don’t even log in now some days, and play other games when I feel like playing them. Overall, much better situation!

  4. I could of very easily of been classified as addicted to wow, but now its a feeling of, wow those were fun times… lets play again, and ill turn it on, play non stop for like 3 days, and say, well, they changed that. crap. and quit for three months. Its a fun game, but I will always have better things to do with my life, but its nice to take a break and play games.

  5. Great article! I miss my beloved WoW to death, but it was detracting from RL. I’m 40 years old now, so there are many things that NEED to be occupying my life. I find that I enjoy other games far more than I did when I was panicking about missing a raid, or not keeping up level-wise with my friends. And, bonus, my wife hasn’t threatened to stab me to get my attention in forever!

  6. There have been times where I thought I might have an addiction. However, the only thing affected has been my social interactions and my aversion to social situations is probably more a cause than an effect.

    When I start to think about it too much I wonder what my life would’ve been like without video games and I realise that is too horrible a world to live in!

  7. I’ve played WoW in three major sessions – which is to say I’m on my third break from the game, I’ve “quit” for the third time, etc. There were times in the first two when I think I was addicted to WoW; during the third, I was especially critical of my playtime and what I gave up in order to play, and so I “prevented” myself from becoming addicted again.

    There were times when I was addicted when I would log on for the sake of logging on, and sit around Dalaran doing absolutely nothing but still feeling satisfied, in effect, because I was “playing WoW”. It put a dent in my relationships with some people, including my (now ex-)girlfriend, and that’s not something I’m sure I’ll ever get over with some people. (To put things in a bit of perspective, I’m pretty asocial with people I’m not especially close to, so when I say I was “doing nothing” I mean that literally – I wouldn’t queue for a random dungeon, I wouldn’t chat with guildies unless something interesting came up in /g, I wouldn’t quest or explore or look at scenery because those things weren’t especially interesting to me, and I wouldn’t hang out with random people in Dalaran or work on titles or etc. I was basically logged on for the sake of logging on.)

    During my third subscription, I was leveling to play with friends at 85. When my friends’ guild exploded and the people I knew left for Rift, I cancelled my subscription even though I was only in my mid-70s. Work kept me busy, which was probably a good thing, and in the end I decided that without my friends playing I probably had better things to do with my time. Eventually I picked up Guild Wars again, and I now have the lofty goal of getting the God Walking Among Mere Mortals title, which will realistically take me a few months to complete. However, even with a whole lot of work I could be doing in the game, I (just now) took a look at my character select screen, thought to myself “I don’t feel like playing any of these characters”, and closed the game. Being able to quit when I don’t want to play is a big milestone for me, and it means I’m getting past the stage of playing for the sake of playing and moving on to playing because I actually want to.

    In re: knee-jerk reactions, I like to think I’m past that. Maybe I’m more self-critical than most, but I try to take a step back when someone suggests something like that and see if they have a point. If I have to dismiss them as being crazy, so be it! I do agree that it’s somewhat annoying when people accuse myself or others of being addicted to a video game, the internet, forums, or whatever, but that’s mostly because said accusers tend to be shortsighted and knee-jerk-ish in their accusations. I would also agree that addictions tend to be a symptom of a deeper problem.

    Because it is nearly two AM I am going to forsake proofreading, post this, and hope it makes some sort of sense! (In my defense, I don’t have to wake up before noon.) Perhaps I’ll revise stuff tomorrow.

  8. In my opinion, admitting that you had/ have a problem with playing a particular game or games seperates you from an addict if by virtue most addicts refuse to even acknowledge they have a problem. Once you address the problem, then the steps can begin to break yourself of your compulsion.

    Every person is different and every story is different. Mine is no exce[topm. If you were to ask many of my family members, they would tell you that I’m addicted to WoW. True, I may play it a lot but I don’t feel like I’m addicted. I started playing Christmas on 2007 (Has it been almost four years already? Wow.) a month after my divorce to fill the gap in the evening between getting off of work and going to bed, time I would have spent normally with the wife and child. Didn’t go out because A: Confidence was at an all-time low (still true today) B: There are not many, i.e. NONE, places for someone who likes video games and Magic: the Gathering to go in the Harrisburg metropolitan area, and C: I just plain don’t like people. (Borderline misanthrope) So instead I sunk into World of Warcraft, playing for a couple of hours in the evening here and there. Fast forward three and a half years and not much has changed. While my family views my WoW habit as an addiction, I view it as an escape from the otherwise dull and completely predictable life I live normally. I don’t even play it that much. I may sink 2-3 hours into one day and the next not log on at all and instead choose to play something like Civilization or Team Fortress 2. I love video games. Some people enjoy outdoor activities like hiking, fishing, sports, etc., I’m one who prefers sitting in front of the computer (or couch. One day. /sigh) with a good game and just losing myself in it.

    Kind of funny when you think about it. Someone who spends most of their time outdoors playing sports or hiking is considered ‘normal’ but those of us who like to persue geekier hobbies like playing video games are ‘addicted’.

  9. Oh wow, lots of great responses here!

    @ Carolyn – I was never much of an MMO person to begin with and I sort of want to say that WoW is probably my first and last– “serious” MMO, anyway. Anytime other people have talked about Aion, Rift, The Old Republic, or whatever, I’ve just had zero interest. Nothing against the genre, and I can certainly see the appeal, but it was never really my style. But yes, I look back fondly on my WoW playing years!

    @ Salanthe – It also bothers me when people try to throw all MMO players/game players/etc. under one big “addicted” umbrella. And you’re right in that it is a symptom. Also, the state of “addiction” is constantly in flux. I still played WoW super-casually for at least a year after the addiction had long since faded away.

    @ Vrykerion – That’s an interesting way of looking at it. I always figured that if I played at least a couple of days a week for a couple of hours then I was getting my money’s worth. Toward the end there, I also had no problems axing my account for a few weeks (or months) if I wasn’t really in the mood to play.

    @ Tamaren – Yeah, sometimes I feel the urge to jump in for a quick Arathi Basin or instance or something, but then I remember that the fun would probably only last an hour or two and then I’d get bored again. Not worth the effort to re-sub!

  10. @ Wownoob – I definitely neglected a lot of other games when I was really into WoW. I also neglected a lot of… well, not so much things I “should” have been doing, but things I “could” have been doing, like practicing my writing! I did, at least, blog throughout the duration of my WoW career, though.

    @ Jiro – Agreed, I would not want to live in a world without video games! D:

    @ Armond – For me, I was usually busy with SOMETHING in game, if not on my main, then on an alt. I think my main problem is that I was overambitious– I’d come up with a big list of things I wanted to do in one playing session and then if I didn’t feel like I’d accomplished all of those things I’d feel dissatisfied.

    I did, eventually, get past that phase, and I largely credit rediscovering writing (outside of blogging) as getting me past that, because it kicked me in the pants and reminded me that I could feel accomplished about something without logging into WoW for weeks. I continued to play WoW on and off for about a year or so after that, but it was never to the same degree as I had been playing before.

    Also, good on you for being able to step back and analyze criticisms.

    @ Fig – Oh man, that last paragraph there. I don’t get it. Even worse than that are the people who rate things like TV or spending their entire evening on Facebook over video games. I’m not sure where the weird stigma came from, but it really makes no sense.

    And yeah, toward the end of my WoW-playing days, I also wasn’t playing every single day. I sort of just let my account peter out when I realized that I was not playing more days than I was and thus it wasn’t worth the $15 a month anymore. I’ve no doubt that I’ll probably come back to it at some point in the future, when I just feel like some good ol’ fashioned WoW, but I don’t think I’ll ever approach it quite the same way I did before. I really feel like that portion of my video-game-life is over.

  11. I think another perspective is that playing WoW (or other such games) is part of an actual sub-culture in our society, such as athletic people or woodworkers or other such hobbyists. That can almost give you a way to relate to people if you don’t otherwise relate to them very well.

    Sure you can be addicted, but sometimes what may look like addiction might be a way to fit in. Playing video games, being a part of that subculture, is a normal thing, so doing it can be a way to be normal.

  12. I’m thinking back to playing civ 2 in college, where it was “I’ll save at the end of this turn. Oops, I hit enter by muscle memory and the new turn is started, I’ll save at the end of *this* turn instead…” Repeat until 2 am.

    Thing is, I’m totally the same way with books, too. I’ll say “I’ll finish this chapter” but then I’ll notice I’m halfway through the next chapter…

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